Mourning Sound

5 years. I can’t really believe that, or take it all in.

That first March 4th; I never thought a sunrise could be a view so cruel. In the stinging light of that new day, all I could feel was your absence with such aching. Such a careless thing, that morning.

Doesn’t time know to stop, out of respect? Just for a moment.

A moment where you can still be here, and we can laugh and speak of hopes and dreams. Swap pictures of kids and pets, and argue over politics. A moment where you’re in the world again and the world is better for it.

There have been 5 of these mornings now, always so sunny, and you’re not here. How dare there be such light on a day without you? And yet that’s all you would have wanted anyway.

There is such cruelty in the continuity of a world without you. I speak of you to others who have never heard your name, who will never truly know the mark you made on my world, on so many worlds.

But you are very much still with me. In my words, my actions, my heart.

So I’m left behind, keeping you in heartbeats. And now I’m blowing off steam to try and lessen the pain.

Tomorrow, the sun will rise as if you were never here at all.

But you were.

And you always will be.

-For Jonathan

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